QuickSilverD
January 14th, 2008, 09:01 PM
WOW, I didn't realized that we had a new section for anime now, anyway I think the time is right now, this thread is intended for the purpose of creating an extensive list of anime laws (aka cliches) if possible with examples both written and in video (embed videos)
So I'll starts by copy/pasting this list from the internet and then we all improve it and add examples, I'll make sure to check back to edit this first post and keep everything organized.
So for now here is the list.
Main Characters, Villains, and General Laws
The more ******ed a plan is, the more likely it is to work. (ex. Naruto)
If a plan is talked about beforehand, it will never work.
In the event that a plan is talked about beforehand, the entire plan will be scrapped moments before it is put into motion and will be replaced by an improvisational plan that always works no matter what.
In cooperation with the first law, the antagonist always has a genius plan that fails.
When a character gains the possession of a giant robot, they immediately know how to control it without prior training. (ex. Evangelion)
The longer the series continues, the stronger enemies get exponentially. (ex. Dragonball Z)
Villains either are butt-ugly monsters or gay dudes. Certain exceptions are an amalgamation of both. (esp. InuYasha)
The bad guy has fan girls. Unless Especially if he's a transvestite.
The main character is small and wimpy-looking, only to hold a tremendous secret power usually explained to him by a wise old person.
The quicker someone dies off, the more likely they are not really dead. (ex. Bleach)
Getting stabbed multiple times only kills you if you are unimportant. Remember that, Kazuya.
Additionally, unimportant characters NEVER get into fights. If they do, they are beaten easily.
When a character performs an attack, they MUST yell out it's name, therefore giving their opponent the obvious advantage of knowing what they're going to do, but never doing what they can do to prevent or counter it. If they don't yell out the name, it doesn't count because that's cheating.
The louder said character shouts the name of an attack, the more powerful that attack will be. (ex. Dragon Ball Z)
No matter how long the preparation to an attack, and no matter how many spangly things are created, the preparation cannot be interrupted before it is complete. The attack is permitted to miss however. (ex. Sailor Moon)
The magical tools necessary to kill someone are commonplace. (ex. Death Note)
Internal monologues and/or long emotional conversations may never be interrupted, even if they take place in the middle of world-deciding battles.
When in doubt, scream loudly and sacrifice yourself to have no effect on the enemy.(ex. Dragon Ball Z)
If the main character has something everyone else has, the main character's is much more powerful and useful. (ex. Digimon)
The antagonist dismisses the main character(s) as a minor annoyance, but never suspect them to have superpowers and might even go so far as to pass up the opportunity to kill or maim him/her on several occasions.
There are samurai and ninjas. At least one of each. Or else.
There will always be a point at which the protagonist is shot down by a bullet, missile, or, in the case of the End of Evangelion, gigantic naked lady that wants to merge with the world. At this point, peaceful Latin music will play for many minutes as the protagonist (or his robot, in the case of Neon Genesis Evangelion and the Gundam series,) falls to the ground in slow motion.
If a male character has pink hair, he is either homosexual or bisexual. This does not apply to the protagonist, unless it is a yaoi. No other hair colors apply.
If a character's hair is hiding some disfiguring mark, laser beam, etc, no amount of force will move that characters hair until permitted. (ex. Descendants of Darkness)
You may not start owning the bad guy until the cool music starts (ex. Naruto, Bleach)
The more an enemy brags about easily owning the hero, the easier that enemy will be defeated.
Before the final showdown between the protagonist and the antagonist, they stare at each other for at least 30+ minutes and review how they got where they are and what they are about to do (in case you missed the entire season). Meanwhile, the other minor characters stand patiently off to the side commenting on the two characters that we actually give a **** about.
The main character has some outrageously powerful ability that no one else has, but is unable to control it.
No matter how powerful an enemy is, the protagonist simply powers up using emotional memories until he is able to defeat him.
The protagonist is allowed to teleport large distances in order to save secondary characters from giant ****ing monsters. (ex. Bleach, Inuyasha)
This is also applied to all and any other character (possibly the antagonist as well) that may be in the scene.
If anyone dies or vanishes because of the protagonist, he/she will go into a state of depression which will make him/her the weakest character in the show and absolutely useless. (ex. Bleach)
The protagonist is able to show physical characteristics of exhaustion and wounds, but is not affected by them. In fact, the power of the protagonist rises as he becomes more exhausted. (ex. Bleach, YuYu Hakusho)
Bandages seem to heal everything, no matter how deep the wound, except if they lose a limb which is soon to be reattached, replaced or healed by a side character (none of the protagonist ever have uber healing powers)
Antagonists that seem too cool to be villians, survive a huge mother****ing attack by the main character or is defeated by the main character and the main character seems to have something more important to do than finish off the guy that has left him with a huge ****ing gash or mortal wound (which is soon to be heal by bandages or what not), seems to join sides with the main character or the main character joins the antagonist's side which ends up being the good side (through several confusing plots and random chains of events). (ex. Bleach, Dragon Ball Z) Women and Love
An ascendant hot air current is always present where miniskirts are. A descending cold air current is present where breasts are.
Female characters cannot wear more than a miniskirt and school uniform, (See schoolgirls) UNLESS they're in a cat suit (OR ELSE).
A woman's breast size is determined by http://images.wikia.com/wikitex/images/f/f2/f20/4c6e29b657b2ad78c3fb60c5d58781.png, whereas h equals head size and b equals breast size. That is LAW.
Women fall in love with guys who are in yaoi. Listen up, you won't get with them. They're gay.
Women experience puberty at 5 years old.
Women walk around in the nude together if they're in a women-only facility.
If men see them while they're nude (which will be likely to happen), women can punch men so hard that they are thrown into the stratosphere, (no matter how incredibly powerful they are in combat) then fall down and only obtain minor bruises (ex. Love Hina). Interestingly, ballistic properties are not taken into account, so that the aforementioned male character is always back by the next key frame, even though he traveled a few tens of miles in a random direction.
The main character and the traditional female companion ALWAYS start off enemies (or innocently and shyly not liking each other so as not to expose their real feelings for each other) and will end up falling in love.
If, at any point, a man (even a gay man, in some cases) sees a naked woman, he will come down with an instant and explosive nosebleed. the amount of blood and the energy released by said blood depends on how many women there are, how naked they are, how large their breasts are, and how inconvenient it is for the main character to have a nosebleed at that precise moment and/or how funny the situation is. This law doesn't apply to lesbians. Also no matter how much blood appears to be pouring from the characters nose, not a single trace of it is present after said incident.
In any situation where a male character is supposed to avoid touching the breasts of a a female, he will be drawn to them whether or not he desires to touch them, in a magnetic effect similar to a lodestone's attractive properties. This results in name-calling (i.e, pervert, lecher, etc.), and/or some form of savage beating.
Every woman finds the male lead incredibly attractive, with the exception of the aforementioned traditional female companion (ex. Negima!).
No matter how strong a male character is, he will always be beaten by his female counterpart (ex. Ranma 1/2).
If the protagonist is a nerd like you, the female counterpart is a space alien who has been unexposed to any Earthly themes ever. (ex. Onegai Teacher).
There is no such thing as ugly, or even just average looking women. Ever.
Women are either
Naggy and hot
Helpless and hot
Horny and hot (though there are very few. They don't want to be too obvious.")
When a tough tomboy girl dresses in a girly fashion (to enter a contest) and trains in lady's manner, she will loathe everything she does, but eventually find that such feminine content isn't bad at all. She will either win the beauty contest hands-down or be in a tie with a nameless woman who will be introduced into the cast after she barely loses the competition.
After the contest, the tomboy girl will adopt a feminine trinket worn from the contest for many episodes to come, sometimes even the entire series.
This is contrast to American Animation, where tomboy girls look extremely silly in a dress. They risk everything the lead cast has ever done to enter the contest, and win hands-down.
If a woman is even remotely undesirable, she is evil. This also applies to women who are extremely desirable.
In most ancient cultures, it is a custom to rip a big-breasted woman's shirt open at least once every fifteen minutes. (ex. Tenjho Tenge)
A girl who wear glasses will gain unrivaled beauty when she removes them.
This girl is subject to personality changes, from creepy nerd to shy, kind, and sweet chick (i.e. Gundam Wing). Note that this law only applies to a good girl; evil girls still gain the unrivaled beauty but have an even more devious personality.
An alien can be incredibly beautiful by human standards. Especially if the heroine is alien, she will look like a typical Japanese school girl, even if the rest of her kind look like relatives of Cthulhu. (ex. Eureka Seven)
In mecha anime, the underage girl pilot always has a unique mech. This is partially because said girl has exceptional skills or special abilities, but mostly because it will please the audience.
If a girl has a brother anywhere in the series, there will be 10-45% chance of incest. This statistic is increased to 95% if she has a long lost brother or a brother she hasn't seen for, like, 16 years. This chance is further increased to 125% if it is explicitly stated the siblings are not blood related. (ex. Onegai Twins, Koi Kaze)
Women are 200% of the normal human being.
They are 150% pornography and 50% PMS.
No matter what she's accused of doing or how mysterious her origins are, the hero will always be ready to fight to the death for any girl he met three seconds ago. General Physical Laws/Unexplainable Phenomena
Acceleration is not affected by friction, air resistance, or any other natural force, but rather an independent variable sometimes called "whatever I feel like". This allows anyone with no real training to jump over buildings, accelerate to unhealthy speeds from a dead stop in a second, change the direction of their jumps (and start spinning) in midair, and many other feats that make the real world seem boring and pointless.
In correlation, gravity does not affect the lead cast. Except when it does. Surprise!
Missiles, artillery and other tissue-degrading devices are designed to explode, usually performing a sharp turn just before hitting and exploding pointlessly, with little or no effect on the character's aesthetic appearance. Lasers and directed-energy weapon systems do less damage.
In the event of an American character being present in Japanese anime, the American characters will look Japanese and have Japanese names. (ex, Negi from Negima)
The bad guy has an unnatural hair color, preferably silver or white. (e.g. Sephiroth)
Hair and clothes are indestructible. The only exception is the shirt (And sometimes the lower parts of pants). After a long intense battle, the shirt is either missing completely or loses a sleeve .(ex. Dragon Ball Z)
Girl's clothing is much easier to rip than a guy's. It is possible that girl's bra and panties are made with same material that men's clothes are, as the clothes alway cover a girl's private part no matter how badly damage they are (unless you're watching hentai, in which it is the reverse effect).
When a person jumps an innumerable amount of feet in the air, makes a killing blow, or both, they fall at one fifth of the force of gravity while the rest of the world reacts normally.
Long capes are the only thing subject to wind. Unless they are not.
In all no-way-out situations, 1 + 1 really does equal a window.
Any otherworldly being is able to adapt to the language and/or breasts of the culture they are present in (i.e. Keroro).
Drastic and dire injuries that nearly kill the protagonist are subject to ten, even twenty times the realistic rate of healing.
When injured by a female, the protagonist receives mega-size band-aids without moving.
The larger and tougher-looking someone is, the weaker they are, and vice-versa. (Ex. Naruto)
The larger a mech is, the more swift and agile it will be. However, if piloted by the antagonist, the opposite is applied.
Transformations, whether mech or monster, are a long and arduous process the first time it occurs. However, the process is sped up and even instant every time afterwards.
People normally dress up in what people today at any time period would consider embarrassing (see cosplay).
Thirteen to twenty-five gallons is the average amount of blood in anyone. (ex. Bleach)
In addition, blood pressure is selective and does not effect health. Blood pressure rises to over nine thousand when you are cut.
You do NOT write fanfics about MY SESSHY CHAN, *****!
According to the Anime Face Expansion theory, which was turned into a law on the 17th of September, 2006, people may stretch their mouths past their faces, into a two-dimensional space that has no real existence.
The amount of energy exerted while jumping has absolutely nothing to do with how long one remains in the air, or for that matter, how many times you can kick someone before coming back down.
Time, along with inertia, is applied selectively. Seconds can easily become hours, especially if the lead cast needs a great amount of time to do something like stop a bomb, run out of a building, or read a book about butterflies (in Kakashi's case, an adult book about a paradise in which people make outside), or must create an improvisational plan during combat. This law may also be applied by the power of love.
An example is sports anime. Single soccer matches can take three or more episodes while school exams and sleepless weeks prior to that take one episode.
Prince of Tennis is not a ****ing anime. Who wants to watch a ****ing anime about fictional people playing ****ing tennis?
Hair-care products do not exist. The chemicals in products we use are already present in anime-dimension hair, allowing the cast to sculpt their hair in bizarre ways and then remain that way for several years without having to wash their hair
Screaming will always result in more power. ex Dragonball Z.
Eyes are subject to being larger than open mouths and five times as large as noses.
Any substance or place containing the word "Tokyo" in it is 10 times more explosive than dynamite. Use of the Neo, Neu, or Mega prefixes increases this to 100 times. If a city has been christened Neumeganeotokyo, it will be the site of an inter dimensional rift that will summon Tentacle Monsters that eat your ****ing face.
Whenever something witty or plain stupid is said, the heads of any intelligent being are jettisoned towards the ground. The cast may also summon a giant drop of sweat on their forehead.
Armies do ****ing nothing. Either
They don't exist, or
Their most powerful forces don't have any effect on the enemy. Great ****ing job.
No matter what time-frame the show is set in -- past, present, or future -- Swords will be the main form of attack. Swords are much more powerful in the anime dimension, and are capable of laser-like distance attacks.
A sword can cut through everything except other swords (including wooden swords). The only exception to this rule is if you don't have faith in your sword. (ex. Bleach)
No matter how ****ing big that sword is, nobody will notice you. So stop ****ing showing off.
No matter how many times you use that sword to strike armored targets or fire that gun on full auto mode it will never break, jam or need any form of maintenance unless it is critical to the story that the weapon breaks, jams or needs maintenance.
The "Invisible Sheath" (definition: A sword can be attached to a person's side or back without a belt or a sheath to hold it in) is present in all scenarios. If the protagonist has a sheath, that just means his sword is too small.
Engaging in combat slows time to a stop.
Death effects the weather in very depressing ways.
When everyone has gotten over the loss 10 minutes later and remembered how wonderful the person was, the sun comes out.
Though any form of attack can be subject to blowing up a planet, engaging in close combat cancels this effect out and only large craters will be formed.
Animals take on intelligent properties attributed to humans. Thanks, furries.
Clothes are part of the anime body. One may take it off, but may not wear another set.
One black person max per anime. Other characters, despite their physical features, are Japanese unless stated otherwise.
Some objects on a person may be subject to the owner's gravity tenfold. Belts and trinkets may stay on a person even though there is nothing holding them in place. This also applies to the Invisible Sheath.
In the event of a card game, the protagonist alone can spawn from nowhere cards that would be completely useless in any other situation, but are exactly what he needs at that moment. (ex. Yu-Gi-Oh)
That ***** is always in it. I hate her.
The later a character is introduced, the more badass they are likely to be.
Badassery is subject to death or evacuation. The more badass someone is, the more likely they will disappear from the anime in question (ex. Nadesico)
Everyone is immune to such mundane hazards as intense heat, freezing cold, or poison gas. Except when they're not. Surprise!
When the time comes that the protagonist does something complicated or amazing their first time, he will beat all known records and one-up any veterans.
However, veterans subject to badassery will not show their skill before the protagonist, and will easily beat the protagonist. They will then assume position as a secondary leader or personal trainer in the cast.
One in the lead cast can fall any distance onto anything without suffering anything worse than brief unconsciousness. In fact, falling a huge distance is an excellent cure for otherwise fatal wounds -- anyone who you see shot, stabbed, or mangled and then tossed off a cliff is guaranteed to return later in the show with newfound power.
Epilepsy-inducing backgrounds are present any time anything slightly interesting happens.
Ex-enemies often turn into a lead character and will often save the protagonist from total annihilation by sacrificing himself. (ex.Vegeta)
Any imaginable feat may be mastered in three days. This also applies to regaining powers that have been permanently stripped and are unattainable by humans. However, failing to complete the assigned task results in death period. (ex. Bleach, Naruto)
When assigned a task, the protagonist seems doomed to failure and death. However, the more time it takes the protagonist to complete this task the more likely he will complete it.
Parents either exist and are extremely active or do not exist and are dead or drunk. Active parents are subject to dying for the cause of the protagonist.
The strength and clarity of a sound do not weaken with distance or interference. One who is fighting in the air will still be able to hear the regular volume comments of his/her companions as if they were right next to each other in a calm setting.
However, concentration on menial tasks, like eating or date with some chick, has the opposite effect; hearing and listening skills will be impaired tenfold.
Limb regeneration is exclusively offered to the lead cast. Despite some notable exceptions to these rules, the Laws of Anime Physics are, by and large, binding to the full gamut of anime and manga works.
So I'll starts by copy/pasting this list from the internet and then we all improve it and add examples, I'll make sure to check back to edit this first post and keep everything organized.
So for now here is the list.
Main Characters, Villains, and General Laws
The more ******ed a plan is, the more likely it is to work. (ex. Naruto)
If a plan is talked about beforehand, it will never work.
In the event that a plan is talked about beforehand, the entire plan will be scrapped moments before it is put into motion and will be replaced by an improvisational plan that always works no matter what.
In cooperation with the first law, the antagonist always has a genius plan that fails.
When a character gains the possession of a giant robot, they immediately know how to control it without prior training. (ex. Evangelion)
The longer the series continues, the stronger enemies get exponentially. (ex. Dragonball Z)
Villains either are butt-ugly monsters or gay dudes. Certain exceptions are an amalgamation of both. (esp. InuYasha)
The bad guy has fan girls. Unless Especially if he's a transvestite.
The main character is small and wimpy-looking, only to hold a tremendous secret power usually explained to him by a wise old person.
The quicker someone dies off, the more likely they are not really dead. (ex. Bleach)
Getting stabbed multiple times only kills you if you are unimportant. Remember that, Kazuya.
Additionally, unimportant characters NEVER get into fights. If they do, they are beaten easily.
When a character performs an attack, they MUST yell out it's name, therefore giving their opponent the obvious advantage of knowing what they're going to do, but never doing what they can do to prevent or counter it. If they don't yell out the name, it doesn't count because that's cheating.
The louder said character shouts the name of an attack, the more powerful that attack will be. (ex. Dragon Ball Z)
No matter how long the preparation to an attack, and no matter how many spangly things are created, the preparation cannot be interrupted before it is complete. The attack is permitted to miss however. (ex. Sailor Moon)
The magical tools necessary to kill someone are commonplace. (ex. Death Note)
Internal monologues and/or long emotional conversations may never be interrupted, even if they take place in the middle of world-deciding battles.
When in doubt, scream loudly and sacrifice yourself to have no effect on the enemy.(ex. Dragon Ball Z)
If the main character has something everyone else has, the main character's is much more powerful and useful. (ex. Digimon)
The antagonist dismisses the main character(s) as a minor annoyance, but never suspect them to have superpowers and might even go so far as to pass up the opportunity to kill or maim him/her on several occasions.
There are samurai and ninjas. At least one of each. Or else.
There will always be a point at which the protagonist is shot down by a bullet, missile, or, in the case of the End of Evangelion, gigantic naked lady that wants to merge with the world. At this point, peaceful Latin music will play for many minutes as the protagonist (or his robot, in the case of Neon Genesis Evangelion and the Gundam series,) falls to the ground in slow motion.
If a male character has pink hair, he is either homosexual or bisexual. This does not apply to the protagonist, unless it is a yaoi. No other hair colors apply.
If a character's hair is hiding some disfiguring mark, laser beam, etc, no amount of force will move that characters hair until permitted. (ex. Descendants of Darkness)
You may not start owning the bad guy until the cool music starts (ex. Naruto, Bleach)
The more an enemy brags about easily owning the hero, the easier that enemy will be defeated.
Before the final showdown between the protagonist and the antagonist, they stare at each other for at least 30+ minutes and review how they got where they are and what they are about to do (in case you missed the entire season). Meanwhile, the other minor characters stand patiently off to the side commenting on the two characters that we actually give a **** about.
The main character has some outrageously powerful ability that no one else has, but is unable to control it.
No matter how powerful an enemy is, the protagonist simply powers up using emotional memories until he is able to defeat him.
The protagonist is allowed to teleport large distances in order to save secondary characters from giant ****ing monsters. (ex. Bleach, Inuyasha)
This is also applied to all and any other character (possibly the antagonist as well) that may be in the scene.
If anyone dies or vanishes because of the protagonist, he/she will go into a state of depression which will make him/her the weakest character in the show and absolutely useless. (ex. Bleach)
The protagonist is able to show physical characteristics of exhaustion and wounds, but is not affected by them. In fact, the power of the protagonist rises as he becomes more exhausted. (ex. Bleach, YuYu Hakusho)
Bandages seem to heal everything, no matter how deep the wound, except if they lose a limb which is soon to be reattached, replaced or healed by a side character (none of the protagonist ever have uber healing powers)
Antagonists that seem too cool to be villians, survive a huge mother****ing attack by the main character or is defeated by the main character and the main character seems to have something more important to do than finish off the guy that has left him with a huge ****ing gash or mortal wound (which is soon to be heal by bandages or what not), seems to join sides with the main character or the main character joins the antagonist's side which ends up being the good side (through several confusing plots and random chains of events). (ex. Bleach, Dragon Ball Z) Women and Love
An ascendant hot air current is always present where miniskirts are. A descending cold air current is present where breasts are.
Female characters cannot wear more than a miniskirt and school uniform, (See schoolgirls) UNLESS they're in a cat suit (OR ELSE).
A woman's breast size is determined by http://images.wikia.com/wikitex/images/f/f2/f20/4c6e29b657b2ad78c3fb60c5d58781.png, whereas h equals head size and b equals breast size. That is LAW.
Women fall in love with guys who are in yaoi. Listen up, you won't get with them. They're gay.
Women experience puberty at 5 years old.
Women walk around in the nude together if they're in a women-only facility.
If men see them while they're nude (which will be likely to happen), women can punch men so hard that they are thrown into the stratosphere, (no matter how incredibly powerful they are in combat) then fall down and only obtain minor bruises (ex. Love Hina). Interestingly, ballistic properties are not taken into account, so that the aforementioned male character is always back by the next key frame, even though he traveled a few tens of miles in a random direction.
The main character and the traditional female companion ALWAYS start off enemies (or innocently and shyly not liking each other so as not to expose their real feelings for each other) and will end up falling in love.
If, at any point, a man (even a gay man, in some cases) sees a naked woman, he will come down with an instant and explosive nosebleed. the amount of blood and the energy released by said blood depends on how many women there are, how naked they are, how large their breasts are, and how inconvenient it is for the main character to have a nosebleed at that precise moment and/or how funny the situation is. This law doesn't apply to lesbians. Also no matter how much blood appears to be pouring from the characters nose, not a single trace of it is present after said incident.
In any situation where a male character is supposed to avoid touching the breasts of a a female, he will be drawn to them whether or not he desires to touch them, in a magnetic effect similar to a lodestone's attractive properties. This results in name-calling (i.e, pervert, lecher, etc.), and/or some form of savage beating.
Every woman finds the male lead incredibly attractive, with the exception of the aforementioned traditional female companion (ex. Negima!).
No matter how strong a male character is, he will always be beaten by his female counterpart (ex. Ranma 1/2).
If the protagonist is a nerd like you, the female counterpart is a space alien who has been unexposed to any Earthly themes ever. (ex. Onegai Teacher).
There is no such thing as ugly, or even just average looking women. Ever.
Women are either
Naggy and hot
Helpless and hot
Horny and hot (though there are very few. They don't want to be too obvious.")
When a tough tomboy girl dresses in a girly fashion (to enter a contest) and trains in lady's manner, she will loathe everything she does, but eventually find that such feminine content isn't bad at all. She will either win the beauty contest hands-down or be in a tie with a nameless woman who will be introduced into the cast after she barely loses the competition.
After the contest, the tomboy girl will adopt a feminine trinket worn from the contest for many episodes to come, sometimes even the entire series.
This is contrast to American Animation, where tomboy girls look extremely silly in a dress. They risk everything the lead cast has ever done to enter the contest, and win hands-down.
If a woman is even remotely undesirable, she is evil. This also applies to women who are extremely desirable.
In most ancient cultures, it is a custom to rip a big-breasted woman's shirt open at least once every fifteen minutes. (ex. Tenjho Tenge)
A girl who wear glasses will gain unrivaled beauty when she removes them.
This girl is subject to personality changes, from creepy nerd to shy, kind, and sweet chick (i.e. Gundam Wing). Note that this law only applies to a good girl; evil girls still gain the unrivaled beauty but have an even more devious personality.
An alien can be incredibly beautiful by human standards. Especially if the heroine is alien, she will look like a typical Japanese school girl, even if the rest of her kind look like relatives of Cthulhu. (ex. Eureka Seven)
In mecha anime, the underage girl pilot always has a unique mech. This is partially because said girl has exceptional skills or special abilities, but mostly because it will please the audience.
If a girl has a brother anywhere in the series, there will be 10-45% chance of incest. This statistic is increased to 95% if she has a long lost brother or a brother she hasn't seen for, like, 16 years. This chance is further increased to 125% if it is explicitly stated the siblings are not blood related. (ex. Onegai Twins, Koi Kaze)
Women are 200% of the normal human being.
They are 150% pornography and 50% PMS.
No matter what she's accused of doing or how mysterious her origins are, the hero will always be ready to fight to the death for any girl he met three seconds ago. General Physical Laws/Unexplainable Phenomena
Acceleration is not affected by friction, air resistance, or any other natural force, but rather an independent variable sometimes called "whatever I feel like". This allows anyone with no real training to jump over buildings, accelerate to unhealthy speeds from a dead stop in a second, change the direction of their jumps (and start spinning) in midair, and many other feats that make the real world seem boring and pointless.
In correlation, gravity does not affect the lead cast. Except when it does. Surprise!
Missiles, artillery and other tissue-degrading devices are designed to explode, usually performing a sharp turn just before hitting and exploding pointlessly, with little or no effect on the character's aesthetic appearance. Lasers and directed-energy weapon systems do less damage.
In the event of an American character being present in Japanese anime, the American characters will look Japanese and have Japanese names. (ex, Negi from Negima)
The bad guy has an unnatural hair color, preferably silver or white. (e.g. Sephiroth)
Hair and clothes are indestructible. The only exception is the shirt (And sometimes the lower parts of pants). After a long intense battle, the shirt is either missing completely or loses a sleeve .(ex. Dragon Ball Z)
Girl's clothing is much easier to rip than a guy's. It is possible that girl's bra and panties are made with same material that men's clothes are, as the clothes alway cover a girl's private part no matter how badly damage they are (unless you're watching hentai, in which it is the reverse effect).
When a person jumps an innumerable amount of feet in the air, makes a killing blow, or both, they fall at one fifth of the force of gravity while the rest of the world reacts normally.
Long capes are the only thing subject to wind. Unless they are not.
In all no-way-out situations, 1 + 1 really does equal a window.
Any otherworldly being is able to adapt to the language and/or breasts of the culture they are present in (i.e. Keroro).
Drastic and dire injuries that nearly kill the protagonist are subject to ten, even twenty times the realistic rate of healing.
When injured by a female, the protagonist receives mega-size band-aids without moving.
The larger and tougher-looking someone is, the weaker they are, and vice-versa. (Ex. Naruto)
The larger a mech is, the more swift and agile it will be. However, if piloted by the antagonist, the opposite is applied.
Transformations, whether mech or monster, are a long and arduous process the first time it occurs. However, the process is sped up and even instant every time afterwards.
People normally dress up in what people today at any time period would consider embarrassing (see cosplay).
Thirteen to twenty-five gallons is the average amount of blood in anyone. (ex. Bleach)
In addition, blood pressure is selective and does not effect health. Blood pressure rises to over nine thousand when you are cut.
You do NOT write fanfics about MY SESSHY CHAN, *****!
According to the Anime Face Expansion theory, which was turned into a law on the 17th of September, 2006, people may stretch their mouths past their faces, into a two-dimensional space that has no real existence.
The amount of energy exerted while jumping has absolutely nothing to do with how long one remains in the air, or for that matter, how many times you can kick someone before coming back down.
Time, along with inertia, is applied selectively. Seconds can easily become hours, especially if the lead cast needs a great amount of time to do something like stop a bomb, run out of a building, or read a book about butterflies (in Kakashi's case, an adult book about a paradise in which people make outside), or must create an improvisational plan during combat. This law may also be applied by the power of love.
An example is sports anime. Single soccer matches can take three or more episodes while school exams and sleepless weeks prior to that take one episode.
Prince of Tennis is not a ****ing anime. Who wants to watch a ****ing anime about fictional people playing ****ing tennis?
Hair-care products do not exist. The chemicals in products we use are already present in anime-dimension hair, allowing the cast to sculpt their hair in bizarre ways and then remain that way for several years without having to wash their hair
Screaming will always result in more power. ex Dragonball Z.
Eyes are subject to being larger than open mouths and five times as large as noses.
Any substance or place containing the word "Tokyo" in it is 10 times more explosive than dynamite. Use of the Neo, Neu, or Mega prefixes increases this to 100 times. If a city has been christened Neumeganeotokyo, it will be the site of an inter dimensional rift that will summon Tentacle Monsters that eat your ****ing face.
Whenever something witty or plain stupid is said, the heads of any intelligent being are jettisoned towards the ground. The cast may also summon a giant drop of sweat on their forehead.
Armies do ****ing nothing. Either
They don't exist, or
Their most powerful forces don't have any effect on the enemy. Great ****ing job.
No matter what time-frame the show is set in -- past, present, or future -- Swords will be the main form of attack. Swords are much more powerful in the anime dimension, and are capable of laser-like distance attacks.
A sword can cut through everything except other swords (including wooden swords). The only exception to this rule is if you don't have faith in your sword. (ex. Bleach)
No matter how ****ing big that sword is, nobody will notice you. So stop ****ing showing off.
No matter how many times you use that sword to strike armored targets or fire that gun on full auto mode it will never break, jam or need any form of maintenance unless it is critical to the story that the weapon breaks, jams or needs maintenance.
The "Invisible Sheath" (definition: A sword can be attached to a person's side or back without a belt or a sheath to hold it in) is present in all scenarios. If the protagonist has a sheath, that just means his sword is too small.
Engaging in combat slows time to a stop.
Death effects the weather in very depressing ways.
When everyone has gotten over the loss 10 minutes later and remembered how wonderful the person was, the sun comes out.
Though any form of attack can be subject to blowing up a planet, engaging in close combat cancels this effect out and only large craters will be formed.
Animals take on intelligent properties attributed to humans. Thanks, furries.
Clothes are part of the anime body. One may take it off, but may not wear another set.
One black person max per anime. Other characters, despite their physical features, are Japanese unless stated otherwise.
Some objects on a person may be subject to the owner's gravity tenfold. Belts and trinkets may stay on a person even though there is nothing holding them in place. This also applies to the Invisible Sheath.
In the event of a card game, the protagonist alone can spawn from nowhere cards that would be completely useless in any other situation, but are exactly what he needs at that moment. (ex. Yu-Gi-Oh)
That ***** is always in it. I hate her.
The later a character is introduced, the more badass they are likely to be.
Badassery is subject to death or evacuation. The more badass someone is, the more likely they will disappear from the anime in question (ex. Nadesico)
Everyone is immune to such mundane hazards as intense heat, freezing cold, or poison gas. Except when they're not. Surprise!
When the time comes that the protagonist does something complicated or amazing their first time, he will beat all known records and one-up any veterans.
However, veterans subject to badassery will not show their skill before the protagonist, and will easily beat the protagonist. They will then assume position as a secondary leader or personal trainer in the cast.
One in the lead cast can fall any distance onto anything without suffering anything worse than brief unconsciousness. In fact, falling a huge distance is an excellent cure for otherwise fatal wounds -- anyone who you see shot, stabbed, or mangled and then tossed off a cliff is guaranteed to return later in the show with newfound power.
Epilepsy-inducing backgrounds are present any time anything slightly interesting happens.
Ex-enemies often turn into a lead character and will often save the protagonist from total annihilation by sacrificing himself. (ex.Vegeta)
Any imaginable feat may be mastered in three days. This also applies to regaining powers that have been permanently stripped and are unattainable by humans. However, failing to complete the assigned task results in death period. (ex. Bleach, Naruto)
When assigned a task, the protagonist seems doomed to failure and death. However, the more time it takes the protagonist to complete this task the more likely he will complete it.
Parents either exist and are extremely active or do not exist and are dead or drunk. Active parents are subject to dying for the cause of the protagonist.
The strength and clarity of a sound do not weaken with distance or interference. One who is fighting in the air will still be able to hear the regular volume comments of his/her companions as if they were right next to each other in a calm setting.
However, concentration on menial tasks, like eating or date with some chick, has the opposite effect; hearing and listening skills will be impaired tenfold.
Limb regeneration is exclusively offered to the lead cast. Despite some notable exceptions to these rules, the Laws of Anime Physics are, by and large, binding to the full gamut of anime and manga works.